Legal Disclaimer:The typical stuff, i do not own the rights for Xena, Gabriele and the others, unfortunately that rights are of StudiosUSA , Universal Pictures and the rest of TPTB, and my personal opinion is that they are persons who care nothing about the fans and need a good kick on their asses.
Subtext: Not much....well at this point what's subtext anyway?
Spoilers: this is made because I'm truly disappointed with Robert Tapert, and the rest. This is another idea of an alter ending....they were so many ways to end a wonderful show and they chose in my opinion the most stinky.
Comments: are well received on firstname.lastname@example.org
The boat seemed quiet, the night was warm the air felt cool, it was almost perfect the crew were at expectation they were about to arrive to Egypt. At the end of the boat a lonely passenger was looking at the moon that was as it's brightest face, she as always was holding urn with a tear rolling though her face. She began talking like a whisper, everyone of the crew thought that the woman was crazy or something like that, because she was always talking to herself, sometimes she even fought with the air, and every day since they departure of Japa was like this
"What am I suppose to do now? I have never felt this sadness...emptiness inside myself...so big that it seems bigger than my will to live; no I have felt this before, the first was on the other world when I discovered that our time together was stolen by a selfish ghost...It's not fair.... It's not fair, when we were about to settle, when we were going for the first time to do whatever we want this happens. For the first time I wish I could do what I really want without caring about the greater good."
She sniffled looking at the sea again her eyes reflecting the greatest sadness in her life her face was flushed with tears and she spoke louder "Now I have been damned to spend the rest of my life!...if this can be called life, an empty shell of what used to be a life, wandering around helping people and doing the good thing. The main reason is because you taught me that...and the second...the second is that I know that if I fight...at some point it will bring me the thing that I want the most...you.... What am I now? Xena the second? Gabrielle the warrior bard? I don't wanna be that...I just want to be the sidekick again, with you beside me, teaching me...
There are a lot of things that you never told me, that you never taught me...yes you told that you wanted me to know everything you knew but I would never know what you knew...I want to stop time to go backwards and change some things...to pour that god damned pot on the fountain...instead of listening to you" she gazed at the sailors that looked puzzled and she heard from some: Poor she lost everything on this trip, I think she's at the border of madness, etc; she smiled and knew they were right; she headed to her room she entered and put the urn on a shelf, she took her sais and pretend to practice with them.
"But now I'm heading to nowhere my life don't exist anymore, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do, I...I'm nothing without you....yes if you were here you'll try to convince me that I was the stronger of us, that I always were the better, and that's the main reason of why I'm telling you this now...because I know that you'll hear me but at the same you won't come...you can't....damn sunset...the sunset that we used to love is now just a reminder of a terrible mistake...my mistake, my failure. I was able to save a lot of people, but I wasn't able to save you...you didn't let me. Xena you once told me that for everyone's life there's something more important than the greater good, you were that to me...and you didn't let me...sometimes i just wish you had let me die on that dessert...if you were not going to fight since the beginning why you didn't let yourself die? Did you know this since the beginning? That you weren't going to be able to return? Why don't you just save all that pain and gave up outside of potedia?" she fell to her knees and began rocking herself.
"I know that you are still condemning yourself...you never allowed it to you, you were always trying to reach something impossible...redemption was as impossible as you are for me now."
"Life, death words that mean everything and nothing at the same time...as well as love, redemption and friendship...I was a fool believing that my love will give you the strength to go on...I was a fool believing that my love was strong enough to bring you back, at the end I found the thing that all my life was searching: my soulmate...and love; but now I know that this are just words. How, how could you tell me that I were your light, your life, your reason when at the end you left me? You promised to never die on me once again...well you fulfilled that you didn't die on me...you die without me, alone, in the middle of a battlefield. I realize that I wasn't good enough for you to share your thoughts, and feelings you showed me that when you went on that stupid martyrdom act!"
"We could had found something to defeat Yodoshi without you getting killed, if you wanted to die so badly why don't you just killed yourself? Why don't you just never undo the pinch....it would have been less pain for you and for me...." she thought in the images of the warrior headless body, covered with arrows, naked and held from two trees, her anger was building rapidly, she clenched her fists and slammed them on the floor.
"You lied to me...you promised me that even in death we'll be together, but you denied me my right to die with you, your version of 'even in death' is you wandering as a ghost and me trying to be this poor excuse for a warrior...finally I have become what I ever wanted: a warrior, but I never told you this when I saw you outside Potedia I wanted to be a warrior but i wanted to be part of your life. At what price I became a warrior?....and at the end you didn't let me do that...what I have now of you? just an urn full of ashes of what you used to be and your chakram with out forgetting the cold heritage of searching the death on every battle the desire of wanting to die so badly as you wanted."
"If you were my light as I were or as you told me that I was yours, what can I don now that I don't even trust in myself?"
"Egypt, Macedonia, North, South, Chin, Rome, Greece, Japa....all of them have memories, things that I want to forget but at the same time are the same which I cling on for going on, how to live when I don't feel alive?"
A pair of full tear blue eyes opened, the warrior sighed, between sobs "Najara was right...it... it was my job to hurt you"
"Even in the end I did it...my pride, my past, I ...I caused you the greatest pain...something I promised myself to never do again...how to spare you all this pain?"
Akemi appeared and put a hand on the warrior's shoulder the warrior sensed her and sobbed whispering "I left my soulmate alone....heartbroken...maybe this was my price for all my bad actions but this should not be hers....not to her!" Akemi tightened her hold.
"She's dying little by little....and she is being consumed by anger, sorrow, and pain." The girl told her in a very calmed but truthful voice.
"I know....I heard all that!....she is not like that...she is not! She shouldn't be like that!" said the warrior anger at herself. "I need to come back..." she whispered.
"If you wanted to come back why you left her? Why you are here? Think on why you really did it"
"What are you saying?" the warrior asked puzzled at the question.
Akemi rose "When you are not in anger..."
"I'm pretty calmed" the warrior tried to convince her.
"No you are not...think on why you did what you did"
"Killing everyone on Higuchi?"
"If you are still thinking that it means that you didn't learn the lesson...
Think on everything your fears, priorities, duties, and tell me what you feel"
Xena calmed herself "my fear is that she'll follow the same path I followed when I was on her state, that I let her my legacy of being a warrior when she in the inside is a peaceful person... My duty should be being with her, fulfilling my promises with her, but I didn't let her restore me"
"And why you didn't let her restore you?"
"Well the reason is obvious you told me that if I did that those 40, 000 souls will be lost"
"You freed the souls...."
"But I needed to stay dead" she spoke higher
"Because I killed them! I need to atone for my past they needed to be avenged!"
"Your past...your past is on the past Xena, you misunderstood the protocol I never told you not to be restored, I told you that the souls must be avenged you avenged them by killing Yodoshi. Since when does vengeance brings something good? Deep inside yourself you thought that you should pay a price for everything..."
Xena just nodded "but I never thought it would be so hard to bear"
"You never thought it'll destroy Gabrielle didn't you?"
"No...But is killing her..."
"You gave your happiness but you also gave Gabrielle's as you said it was not her pain nor your choice..." she clarified the statement.
"But now I can do nothing about it don't you think?" the warrior asked with a crooked smile.
"Xena you need to learn a lot of things....do you know that you made wrong?"
"Yes, I was selfish trying to decide my life and hers..."
"Between a lot of things...we can't bear seeing Gabrielle like that...she don't deserves it..."
"I know! But know I can't do anything." She shouted.
"You can do something..." a light of hope appeared on the warrior's eyes "There's a ritual by which you can be returned to life, it's very dangerous for you, if you fail your soul will be destroyed, forever...and with that your kami and the karmic cycle"
"I don't care it worth's it...to save her all this pain I'll give everything to see her smile again...in this lifetime"
"Well then you must go, but be careful our gods will try to fool you and they will use your memories, and your fears for make you fail....hold on to the love you two share, but be careful you need first to understand that Higuchi was an accident not your fault, if you can't learn this it will be sure death for your soul" she warned, giving her a piece of scroll.
Taking the scroll and with a faint smile "Where I have to go?"
"Mount Fuji...inside a cave it's the temple...there you'll know, the scroll it's a map it will take you there."
"Why are you doing this Akemi?"
"Because I love you and I can't bear looking to you in that state...and also because it's my fault I didn't explain the protocol to you and you made all this."
"Good luck, old friend"
Gabrielle awoke her eyes sore of crying, she lifted herself and looked at the urn, which was on the floor, empty.
"No!" she ran to it but a hand held her.
She turned and saw the warrior smiling to her
"I must be crazy...2 months have finally made me mad" Xena laughed and held the bards hand tenderly, the bard seemed pale, she opened her eyes and tentatively touched the warrior's face afraid that she'll disappear.
When she felt warm flesh she smiled, new tears flowing though her face "You....you...are alive!" then she fell into the warrior hugging her tightly.
"Yes, and thanks to you..." she declared solemnly
"But....how...I mean....the sunset....and you.." Xena silenced her with a finger while holding one of Gabrielle's hands.
"When I was about to lost everything you were the one that guided me home...at the end you help me to come back...when I thought I had lost you helped me to win..." the warrior caressed the back of Gabrielle's head with a hand, the bard didn't understood what Xena said but she just smiled.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry of all the pain I caused you....but I need you to explain a lot of things...." sniffling at the memory.
Gabrielle smiled "now we have a lot of time" then both embraced tightly keeping in that way for a long time, until the sun rose again. Both emerged from the lower deck to the boat, every one looked surprised because all knew the Warrior Princess was dead, but know she seemed to be alive, for the first time they all stopped believing that the bard was crazy, or that she was talking to herself.
They stared at the land of Pharos, happy of being reunited again, they looked at the great pyramids, and both have the certain idea that where they would go they'll be together, till the end of time, and no matter the consequences the next time they'll be together in the good times and in the worst, because after all that's what friends do and above all they are and will be forever friends.